Evening Hosts Take Aim At Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Immigration Program

Late-night's prominent hosts devoted the broadcast mocking President Donald Trump's newly announced visa initiative, called the "golden visa," portraying it as a blatant pay-for-access system for the rich.

The Late Show's Sarcastic Spin

Opening his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic Christmas jingle directed at the president. "He is making a list, checking it twice, before handing that list to the agents at ICE," he sang. "Donald Trump ... spoils all he touches."

Colbert's target was the new initiative which enables international individuals to buy U.S. residency for a sum of one million dollars, with a "platinum" version for five million. A government website promises approval "faster than ever."

"A brief thought for you to rich immigrants: before you fork over the cash, maybe think about Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the scheme is also meant to "extract cash" from firms wanting to hire foreign workers, with significant payments. "That is a lot of fees, though if you register, you also get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your choosing – provided that it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough screening the government has before done," remarked Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to make sure these applicants completely meet the standard to be in America."

"That's important, you gotta prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert said dryly. "The initial query: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Roast

On his late-night show, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the visa program the "Get Into America Express Card."

"Here's a card that will permit affluent overseas citizens to live here," he explained. "In exchange for a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a route to citizenship, and a president's pardon for one significant crime of your choice."

"It might be time to change that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel teased the lack of detail of the application, noting it is "more difficult to start a Wordle account." He said that Trump "sees citizenship is something you can sell, like a condo."

"Indeed, the top people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers covering Economic Concerns

On another network, Seth Meyers turned to Trump's slipping poll numbers during economic anxiety. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were upset about the economy," he noted.

Recently, in a bid to address cost of living, Trump held a press conference in front of a display of food items, where he reacted strangely to boxes of cereal.

"What a nice job, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump stated. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't seen Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so fucking weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them home to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting conservative news defenses of Trump's financial performance. "Maybe instead of voicing concerns, you should give him a shiny trophy like the one FIFA did," he joked.