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This period represents a full decade since the phrase “disappearing” entered the common lexicon. Back then, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without a word seemed like the pinnacle of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly defined by online jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more unhinged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

The following list is a comprehensive glossary to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For gen Z, dating’s ideal is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and pay attention to whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you proactively. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A date where two people bond while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of being guarded: practicing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Flags

• Red flags – Behavioral quirks suggesting a prospective partner is bad news. Such as calling their former partners unstable, subpar tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions affirm your decision to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, having a bed frame …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely harmless quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or individuals that you do (nothing creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band your gen Z boyfriend likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of silence.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The rare boyfriend who is beloved by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and frequently trivial turnoffs that immediately extinguish any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Making out – This year, scientists learned that kissing has existed for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be waning since some gen Z desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {